It's Friday. Sex?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize