Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
