member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
