I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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