Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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