At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
