Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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