I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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