Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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