yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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