She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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