I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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