why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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