I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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