If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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