Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
