Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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