We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
