We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
