She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize