hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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