i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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