if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
