i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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