Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
