Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I need water and some morals
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
