I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
