Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
