I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
