when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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