I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Please, let me fuck your mom
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
