Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
