He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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