he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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