I heard we made out
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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