going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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