Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
