I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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