I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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