Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
