my soul wont recognize me after tonight
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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