the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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