so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize