DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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