I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
smell my finger.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
