Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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