I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize