when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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