Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
