I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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