garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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