I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
