I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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