this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
