Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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