thus making me awesome and them whores
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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