I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
