Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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