U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do vagina's smell?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Randomize
