Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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