you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
