it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it glows. i had to have it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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