I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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