carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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