in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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