so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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