I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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